Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
