sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
