my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
