we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
