What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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