Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
