Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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