I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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