You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
