oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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