She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
