I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
