I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
