I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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