Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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