So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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