remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
