I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Randomize
