do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Randomize
