we made out on top of his cat.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
