Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Randomize
