Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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