Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
