I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Randomize
