So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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