Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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