I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
