not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
