You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
