Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
