I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
