all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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