We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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