My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
