Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My breasts were aching with rage.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize