i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
this is an emotional support booty call
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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