I cockslap morals
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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