Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I think your dad took our porno
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
