It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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