Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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