Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
