Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
