Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
We talked him into tasing himself.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
