dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
