well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
