So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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