I only kidnapped one of them. chill
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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