That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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