She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
