Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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