there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
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