glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
