exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
