How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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