i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
