idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
