I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
