She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
