YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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