So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Randomize
