you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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