Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
