no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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